Yes definitely, there are a few tips, for example you can avoid using “ne” to mean negation, and use specific expressions, an example here:
“Je ne m’embarrasse pas” becomes “Je me prends pas la tête” or even “J’me prends pas la tête“.
You could also consider using “tu” instead of “vous” if you want to be closer to the person reading your text.
Your example in French does not either look too formal or not formal it just looks normal.
You can also adapt your vocabulary, in french language we have different level of politness, le langage soutenu “high” is to avoid here.
If you want additional details I can edit the answer as I cannot comment yet…